Top 10 things I can't wait to do after the baby is here. (In order of importance)

1. Sit in a whirlpool/hot for hours.

2. Watching where I shave. Versus the blind swipes resulting in one bloody shaver. (TMI....sorry!!)

3. Relish a fruity mixed drink.

4. Sleep while laying flat on my stomach. (I cannot fathom this.)

5. Walk without alternating a hip before each step. (I think they call this waddling.)

6. Get dressed without a series of moans, groans, & gasps for air.

7. A day without pregnancy jokes & slams. (i. e., "Are you having twins?" and "Come on, fat girl."

8. Shopping for real clothes. The bigger the clothes, the uglier they seem to be.

9. A stop to this itching MADNESS. From the toes on my feet to my shoulders, there is not a place that hasn't been scratched or dug at. My skin looks like a war zone for hundreds of insects.

10. DIETING!!!!!!!!!!!! (yea right?!)

Never hide the lasagna from a pregnant woman

So I have this great new Sister-in-law. She is very special indeed. Yesterday was her birthday and because she is of great importance, she got a specially made supper by my dear mother and sister. There was lasagna, broccoli salad, creamed peas, lovely bisquits, cake, & ice-cream.

I, however, could not attend because "I" had to work. I comforted myself though, because there was an unspoken promise that there would be leftovers waiting for me when I get off work. In fact, this unspoken promise became an actual promise later over the phone.

I ate my lonely little ham sandwich at work and dreamed of lasagna. Ooey, gooey, lasagna, dripping with cheese. Now you will not understand how important this lasagna was unless you have been pregnant before. And at 7 1/2 months, the appetite of a hungry, manual labor-working woman combined with a huge craving is a time bomb waiting to explode.

As I walked in our garage at home, I met my sister, Kris. She looked a little guilty and soon began apologizing profusely. Sharon(my other sister), was at fault she explained. Why, she ASKED Sharon if she had the Very Important Plate of Food and Sharon had said, "Yes." But, there was no plate and there was no lasagna to be found. Not in the car, not in the refrigerator, & not in any logical place we could think of. (Sharon was sleeping.)

So I sat at the table and mourned over the lost lasagna. Kris then had a wonderful idea. "Sneak into Mom's and find the rest of the lasagna! Bring back enough for you, and enough for our lunches tomorrow!"

So, armed with a Large container, spatula, & key to Mom's, I happily drove over. I started by looking in the two spare refrigerators in the garage(only my mom has 3 refrigerators & 4 very large freezers) and the freezers. Nothing. My smile wasn't so bright anymore. I used my key and went into the house. I looked in the refrigerator, the oven, the office, the kitchen cupboards, the kitchen table, & mudroom. Nothing. Panic started to set in. "WHERE IS THE LASAGNA?" I thought about waking my mother up, but knew I would be martyred on the spot if my sisters ever found out. So, I did round 2. Garage, back to the house, and this time I checked the van AND the car. Nothing. Round 3. Nothing. I drove back home in utter disbelief. I wasn't getting any lasagna. My stomach started growling in protest and Squishie started kicking me at the same time. I reported this news to Kris, who was also shocked. "Did you check the...." Yes. "Well, did you check..." Yes. Yes. Yes.

I ate a bagel sadly. And wrote this e-mail to my family:

"there once was a girl who loved food
her job made her hungry and of ill mood
she came home just tonight
and found no lasagna in sight
and thats when she went through the roof."

WHERE'S THE LASAGNA!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

The art of being a Mother

With ten weeks left to go til V-day(give or take two weeks), I find myself deep in thought, trying to imagine myself as a mother. I have always loved kids, and kids have always loved me. Yet, I can't stop feeling a little terrified. What if I become overwhelmed with all the things you must do with a baby. Am I crazy for wanting to try to breastfeed? What if all the tiny little clothes I have bought him will be too little and I have NO clothes for him to wear?(My sister thinks he is coming out the size of a toddler.) What will he look like? Will everyone think he's ugly and tell me he's cute? No more walking out the door and getting in my car to run here or there. I will have to think about whether the baby has eaten, been changed, his mood, his next feeding, how long will I be gone, get the stroller, the carseat, the diaper bag, and on and on and on......

Ok, so maybe I am feeling a little panicky. After all, my mother bore SEVEN children and she made it to the other side. (Might I add, six out of that seven were born without the help of any pain medication.) But somehow, I don't see myself adding up to the same measure as my mother. She has to be the most sacrificial, unselfish, & loyal person I know.

I guess the only way I will know, is for the baby to come out and be in my arms. And that thought....gives me butterflies.