With ten weeks left to go til V-day(give or take two weeks), I find myself deep in thought, trying to imagine myself as a mother. I have always loved kids, and kids have always loved me. Yet, I can't stop feeling a little terrified. What if I become overwhelmed with all the things you must do with a baby. Am I crazy for wanting to try to breastfeed? What if all the tiny little clothes I have bought him will be too little and I have NO clothes for him to wear?(My sister thinks he is coming out the size of a toddler.) What will he look like? Will everyone think he's ugly and tell me he's cute? No more walking out the door and getting in my car to run here or there. I will have to think about whether the baby has eaten, been changed, his mood, his next feeding, how long will I be gone, get the stroller, the carseat, the diaper bag, and on and on and on......
Ok, so maybe I am feeling a little panicky. After all, my mother bore SEVEN children and she made it to the other side. (Might I add, six out of that seven were born without the help of any pain medication.) But somehow, I don't see myself adding up to the same measure as my mother. She has to be the most sacrificial, unselfish, & loyal person I know.
I guess the only way I will know, is for the baby to come out and be in my arms. And that thought....gives me butterflies.
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Oh but that is so exciting - the thought of a new baby gives ME the butterflies. Becoming a mom is the most amazing thing in the entire world. There's no other feeling like it.
ReplyDeleteMy mom had seven children, too. Which means she was also a baby addict. Or at least a devout Catholic!