Never hide the lasagna from a pregnant woman

So I have this great new Sister-in-law. She is very special indeed. Yesterday was her birthday and because she is of great importance, she got a specially made supper by my dear mother and sister. There was lasagna, broccoli salad, creamed peas, lovely bisquits, cake, & ice-cream.

I, however, could not attend because "I" had to work. I comforted myself though, because there was an unspoken promise that there would be leftovers waiting for me when I get off work. In fact, this unspoken promise became an actual promise later over the phone.

I ate my lonely little ham sandwich at work and dreamed of lasagna. Ooey, gooey, lasagna, dripping with cheese. Now you will not understand how important this lasagna was unless you have been pregnant before. And at 7 1/2 months, the appetite of a hungry, manual labor-working woman combined with a huge craving is a time bomb waiting to explode.

As I walked in our garage at home, I met my sister, Kris. She looked a little guilty and soon began apologizing profusely. Sharon(my other sister), was at fault she explained. Why, she ASKED Sharon if she had the Very Important Plate of Food and Sharon had said, "Yes." But, there was no plate and there was no lasagna to be found. Not in the car, not in the refrigerator, & not in any logical place we could think of. (Sharon was sleeping.)

So I sat at the table and mourned over the lost lasagna. Kris then had a wonderful idea. "Sneak into Mom's and find the rest of the lasagna! Bring back enough for you, and enough for our lunches tomorrow!"

So, armed with a Large container, spatula, & key to Mom's, I happily drove over. I started by looking in the two spare refrigerators in the garage(only my mom has 3 refrigerators & 4 very large freezers) and the freezers. Nothing. My smile wasn't so bright anymore. I used my key and went into the house. I looked in the refrigerator, the oven, the office, the kitchen cupboards, the kitchen table, & mudroom. Nothing. Panic started to set in. "WHERE IS THE LASAGNA?" I thought about waking my mother up, but knew I would be martyred on the spot if my sisters ever found out. So, I did round 2. Garage, back to the house, and this time I checked the van AND the car. Nothing. Round 3. Nothing. I drove back home in utter disbelief. I wasn't getting any lasagna. My stomach started growling in protest and Squishie started kicking me at the same time. I reported this news to Kris, who was also shocked. "Did you check the...." Yes. "Well, did you check..." Yes. Yes. Yes.

I ate a bagel sadly. And wrote this e-mail to my family:

"there once was a girl who loved food
her job made her hungry and of ill mood
she came home just tonight
and found no lasagna in sight
and thats when she went through the roof."

WHERE'S THE LASAGNA!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!